Today I have a real question for this little online community. Do you like your community, your real life one? In other words, do you like where you live? I’m curious. We have this conversation a lot, and I can’t figure out if it’s a normal wondering of our brains… To consider what life would be like somewhere else?
There are things I really love about our small suburb of Atlanta. There are things I love about the big city of Atlanta. But sometimes I can’t help but wonder… “What if we lived somewhere else?” and “What opportunities am I and are we missing, elsewhere?” Then I turn the question back on myself… In my selfish wonderings of “elsewhere” what opportunities am I missing right here in my own backyard?
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I wrestle with this question so often. I know I get in my own way of enjoying where we are right now. And if I’m getting in my own way here, what would be different if we simply (physically) lived somewhere else? And I wonder if everyone doubts where they are? (Do you?)
When Allen and I were first married, I used to tell my Mom all the time that I couldn’t wait to feel “settled.” That even though we purchased a house I didn’t feel settled. I didn’t feel settled in my career. That maybe once we had kids I’d feel settled, purposeful. She stopped me in my tracks one day when she said, “Whitney, you’ll never feel settled. Even with kids, a move or a big change could be right around the corner.”
But four years later, that old feeling has come back. I still don’t feel settled. And it weighs on me like a ton of bricks. What are we doing wrong? Is my lack of feeling settled, a selfish “elsewhere” wondering of my mind? Or is there something inside me trying to tell me to push forward and pursue something greater? Will it always feel like this?
PS – Blogs are funny journals. I love being able to go back in my “Personal” tag archives, and I remember feeling this way here
. And remembering that we came out of it alive. And better for it.
Copyright Whitney Curtis 2010-2013